[The Year 1998, Kayole One-Nairobi]
Exposition
We had never owned one before.
The only piece of electronic we owned was some archaic Panasonic cassette radio
that you used a pencil or a biro pen to rewind the cassette when it had played
fully yet you wanted to save power because you wanted to conserve yourdry
cells.
Daddy hated Great Wall (G.W)
Television sets for one, they were too red and too common like the percentage
of idiots in the universe and two, one day a neighbor bought a G.W TV set and
as he was unpacking the ‘gadget’ home the maid said, “Wow! That’s a Coca-Cola
crate!” Daddy disliked such embarrassing comparisons that pitted his expensive living
gadgets to non-living gadgets like crates.
So Daddy Bought It
So dad bought this black and
white National Star Television Set together with a wet cell called
“Dynamite Electrolite”. We would charge this wet cell after every two weeks but
as time moved on,the two weeks became a week and two quarters.
I homed in from school to find
mum and dad watching cartoons. They kept analyzing the non-importance of
cartoons (I guess to some adults). I was so excited and jumped on my father
shouting “Weweeeeeee!”, running to the corridors , balcony and downstairs of
the flats to the neighbours, I shouted, “Tumenunua Tiii
Viii! Kwa akina Bob ni Kunooomaaa!”(We have bought a television. Bobs house
is super). I didn’t even take off my uniform. I danced to any entertaining
soundtrack on tv including adverts like the Chipsy advert. That is the day I
was so excited until I danced news at 9:00pm.
Life With The TV
Mum then became a typical African
mother by taking advantage of the TV to make me help her do this and that.
Especially that because obviously that is a bit far while this is here. She
often sent me, “Go to the shop, buy me cooking oil then when you come back , I
will open the tv for you’. I became Usain Bolt if not a Cheetah.
From time to time, daddy would
turn the antenna from the roof top near the balcony until all the rice/rain had
left the screen. He later delegated this role to me so that I developed bragging
rights among my age-mates who couldn’t remove the rice from the screen. One of
our neighbours kids loved food so much. One day while we watched tv, I shouted
that the rice had come. Coincidentally, this kid’s mum had cooked beans. The
kid Bolted outand Usained back with beans soup in a blue plate.We laughed.
I was constantly amazed by the
anthill swelling on the back of the TV and I would constantly say, “Mummy, hii TV yetu iko kama Mama Egra” (Mum,
our TV is like Egra’s Mum). Mama Egra was our neighbor and she was pregnant at
the moment. Case closed. I asked how people entered the TV. Mum told me that
she normally woke up at 5:00am while I was still asleep to put the people in
through the swollen back of the TV through the hole where the antenna entered. I
immediately developed a habit of waking up at 5:00a.m only to realize that I
had been pranked to develop a behavior of waking up early for morning preps to
do my homework. At that age, homework was fun though, maybe because homework was
only drawing patterns and utensils.
There was a local soap called
Tausi, we loved it so much. This is the day when mum cooked supper at 5:00pm so
that between 5:00pm and 7:30pm, we would reminisce and narrate the past
episodes and expectations of the next episode today. We were so happy to have a
weak antenna that only received KBC Channel because if it received other
channels, dad would obviously look for football which mum didn’t like. I didn’t
care though, I loved football too. Truly kids unite parents.
For several weeks, my life
revolved around the TV especially when visitors came and mum had spread some
lacings (vitambaa) on the TV. I would ask questions like ;
“Mum have you seen my drawing
book ? I left it on top of the TV” or something like, “Mum, the visitor has put
on a trouser copying the color of our television!”
When visitors visited us or even
neighbors coming to say hi, I would embarrass them by saying, “I know you have
come to watch our TV”. One angered male visitor pinched me hard after I cliched
him that and as I cried, he started laughing at me. I was confused whether what
I said to him was funny or angering.
Few days later, dad bought a rainbow
colored plastic membrane that he would put on the screen to cheat us that the
images were colored. I found it funny and foolish later on since one corner of
the membrane was blue and the other corner was red. When we watched National
Geographic, Hyenas and Cheetahs began having chameleon magics and instincts
since a cheetah appeared blue then as it ran to the left and caught the gazelle
on the red side of the screen, the cheetah too became green.
Memories I tell you.
Should I
Compile Such Memories for My Autobiography ?
[ B.O.B A Whoof Deh, © August 2015
]
