This is the day that village folks of my former school mates have been waiting for.
Ask Edgar Aaron and he will tell you that his village mates bought kitenges and high heels for the first time for this ''BIG'' day.Edgars auntie called Awuor Nyakarungu who is a choir member in the local Nomiya Church, has organised a group of 8 virgin girls who shall sing for their son Edgar during his initiation to the world of degree holders.
The eight virgins shall song for Edgar praise songs for his ''kingness'' before Edgar can choose the most beautiful of these choir girls to satisfy his ego because its a ritual. Being the first graduate in his village, Edgar must have sex with a virgin in order to be succesful in life. So this is a purification ritual for their son.Now the old men of Edgars village have hired a Bajaj motocycle that shall be driven by the female chief of Edgars village just infront of the bus carrying the villagers and it will be like a presidential entourage.
The bus is a local secondary school bus from a school where Edgar with kiwi shining beards and armpit hairs, was teaching CRE and with a Luo swag, if you met him wearing sharp shooters you might think that he is the principal because the principal is some Neanderthal man who still wears plaited trousers with turn up at the bottom with a tie having the colours of the flag of Kenya.
Now Edgar has also invited special friends to attend this Seremoni : His ex girlfriend of class six Anyango Nyakadenge who made Edgar to fail CRE because of the two devils in her bras, Mr Omwandho Osoth who beat Edgar for bringing mapera to his rotten toothed daughter, B.O.B Master of Ceremony and Dalmas as the bouncer.
When the whole crew arrives, they shall call Edgar ''igweee'', as if they were with Edgar when he was using mwakenya in exams.They shall pitch a tent next to the Moi University swimming pool where they shall cook with their own sufurias. An envoy of first years in Moi from Edgars village courtesy of Edgar as their motivational speaker, has been formed to fetch firewood for the cooking from falls bushes.
My friend Tony Irungu shall bring muthokoi and Kamande cooked because he has no firewood fetchers. All I can say is that , Edgar, I wish you all the best plus all others graduating on 16th December, usiringe na degree moja, thermometer iko na 100 na inakaa chini ya makwapa.
[ B.O.B A Whoof Deh 2014 (C), Based On A True Story ]
Ask Edgar Aaron and he will tell you that his village mates bought kitenges and high heels for the first time for this ''BIG'' day.Edgars auntie called Awuor Nyakarungu who is a choir member in the local Nomiya Church, has organised a group of 8 virgin girls who shall sing for their son Edgar during his initiation to the world of degree holders.
The eight virgins shall song for Edgar praise songs for his ''kingness'' before Edgar can choose the most beautiful of these choir girls to satisfy his ego because its a ritual. Being the first graduate in his village, Edgar must have sex with a virgin in order to be succesful in life. So this is a purification ritual for their son.Now the old men of Edgars village have hired a Bajaj motocycle that shall be driven by the female chief of Edgars village just infront of the bus carrying the villagers and it will be like a presidential entourage.
The bus is a local secondary school bus from a school where Edgar with kiwi shining beards and armpit hairs, was teaching CRE and with a Luo swag, if you met him wearing sharp shooters you might think that he is the principal because the principal is some Neanderthal man who still wears plaited trousers with turn up at the bottom with a tie having the colours of the flag of Kenya.
Now Edgar has also invited special friends to attend this Seremoni : His ex girlfriend of class six Anyango Nyakadenge who made Edgar to fail CRE because of the two devils in her bras, Mr Omwandho Osoth who beat Edgar for bringing mapera to his rotten toothed daughter, B.O.B Master of Ceremony and Dalmas as the bouncer.
When the whole crew arrives, they shall call Edgar ''igweee'', as if they were with Edgar when he was using mwakenya in exams.They shall pitch a tent next to the Moi University swimming pool where they shall cook with their own sufurias. An envoy of first years in Moi from Edgars village courtesy of Edgar as their motivational speaker, has been formed to fetch firewood for the cooking from falls bushes.
My friend Tony Irungu shall bring muthokoi and Kamande cooked because he has no firewood fetchers. All I can say is that , Edgar, I wish you all the best plus all others graduating on 16th December, usiringe na degree moja, thermometer iko na 100 na inakaa chini ya makwapa.
[ B.O.B A Whoof Deh 2014 (C), Based On A True Story ]
Some advice bro, keep off gross words. The comical effect you intended to create has flopped miserably. Instead you sent me into a "puke bucket search" frenzy. Do something bro. I tell you this as a fellow blogger.
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