Definition : A sponsor/blessor is someone who may not be single or have
the looks or have a close promixal age to the sponsee or even have
bedroom prowess, but they must definately have a fat wallet and a
generous demeanor.
Typically, sponsors normally have a significantly
large age difference between them and the sponsee, but given the rise in
early financial breakthrough among the youth in recent times,
sponsorship levels have risen within this young demographics. With age
comes wisdom and money but little time to enjoy it, but there are also
other natural characteristics that come with mature sponsorship; more
often than not, these special characteristics lack in the younger
generation of sponsors. Upcoming male sponsors, sponsor code states
that:
1. Sponsors dont put on captioned tshirt and rugged jeans
or these other fancy wears and accessories when going to the club;
sponsors put on a checked longsleeved shirt and tuck in khaki pants.
Having a kitambi, open shoes, suspender, a wrist watch, savco jeans, a
company branded cap/tshirt and spectacles is an added advantage.
2. If you invite a lady to the club, make sure it is a
place you frequent, preferrably a Rhumba joint-a place where waiters
greet you respectfully "welcome sir" or better yet "karibu mkubwa" and
rush to serve you because apparently you always tip them. Why Rhumba?
Real sponsors dont listen to reggae, ragga, dancehall, genge, kapuka etc
because it makes noise to their old ear drums, unless the sponsee
proposes that they hop to a more youthful club.
3. When you've settled at the table and the waiter is
taking orders, dont look at the waiter directly as if you are worried or
hoping your company will not order something that will dent your
wallet. Look away, probably at an imaginary car you parked or at the tv
screen, or at the sky. Assume you dont care what will be ordered because
pesa otas nigga. Once they've ordered, never glance at the bill or ask
the waiter what you owe until you are ready to leave, then pay. ALWAYS
say "keep change", even when there is no change to keep. If you fear the
bill might make you amicus chonga viaziae, do a reconnaisance visit of
the club prior to your official visit and tip the waiter to keep the
budget low when bringing the menu-in other words only make certain
drinks and foods available-so that they are within your budget.
4. Sponsors dont speak sheng. It is either kiswahili sanifu
or english. And if they have to use sheng, it needs to be broken sheng
or old school sheng, like hakuna diambo, manyanga etc
5. Sponsors dont talk too much; and whatever they say must
be related to rhumba, benga, old school music, politics, the country's
economy, or money making projects and investments. To better explain and
illustrate themselves, they need to point and wave using their
expensive phone and their car keys
6. Sponsors dance slowly and gently, not too energetically.
Having two left feet is an added advantage. And when dancing they dont
sweat, unless the club AC is broken and their weight is taking a toll on
them. Sweating is reserved for later, when malipo ya kunywa guarana
uliyonunuliwa ni papa hapa duniani.
7. Sponsors are non-violent. And they dont shout at the
club or beg for attention, they like peace and quiet. If they
accidentally spill your beer they apologize by buying you two more. If
you spill their beer they smile with you and tell you its okay, some
will even ask if you've hurt yourself and help you to your seat.
8. Sponsors dont have time to katia a lady or dilly dally,
they will go straight to the point "can i buy you a drink?" Which should
be taken to mean "......then go to the guest house with you for the
night and later give you some money".
9. Sponsors are not responsible for what happens to you or
your biology after the encounter. Their obligation starts and ends at
the money, treats or drinks, PERIOD. Its a caveat emptor relationship
"buyer beware".
10. Sponsors dont receive or make calls at odd/family or
business hours, unless they need a quickie after which that relationship
ends until the convenience comes up again.
11. Sponsors dont attach emotion to temporary pressure-relieving-
12. Whatever a sponsor spends on the sponsee, must be paid
back in kind and in full one way or another, in the near or further
future. That is the rule of the jungle. That said, sponsors are not
stingy, they will, and should give you what you want.
Whoever performs the sponsor role but lacks the true character of a sponsor is a sponsor mwitu.
All a sponsor wants is some little dicreet company, maybe
some orgasm no strings attached, PERIOD, and ofcourse they have the
purchasing power for that.
Goodluck.
By, Jaduong' Thinktank Okello
2017, May
Follow Him on Facebook @ Collins Thinktank Okello
