Understanding women
has been rated top among the most difficult things to do in the world which
apparently include breaking diamond. Diamond is the worlds hardest object yet
its hardness comes second after the hardness of understanding women. I dont
know why.
As I start the
intercourse of this post, I want to tell you that in a relationship or
marriage, one person is always right while the other person is the husband.
This right person is very hard to understand because most of the times, she wants
to be like the girl on the magazine cover yet even the girl on the magazine
cover doesnt know who she is in real life.
Make Up
We all know that
some ladies take less time to make up their minds than their faces so in most
cases its best to judge this book called ‘Women’ by the cover because thats
where more time was spent.
Those Who Seek Advice In Newspapers
Ladies are the
first ones to write to Dr Cupids of daily newspapers saying, ‘Dear Dr Cupid, I am a single girl becasue i
dont likr commitments but every guy friend
i have wants them so i friend zone them until they are annoyed... How do
i find good guy friends who dont want to have sex or start a relationship ? i
want a nice friend to hang out with and go out with ! what is your advice.’As
far as i know myself, my answer would be :
Answer : If you
want great guys you can hang out with and dont have sex with, you can look for
men whose behaviors include putting on pink T-Shirts written ‘Daddy’s Angel’.
These men are called GAY. These men will never try to have sex with you. Infact
they will f*ck every man that tries to f*ck you. In short , boo boo, you cant
find a straight dude that never wants to have sex. Good Luck.
Ladies Who Want Men With Beards
Some ladies want
men with beards yet when they get men with beards, they claim that the beards
are not manly. Such ladies go on to insult beardless men as men with foreheads extended to their chins.
I have never heard of feminine beards. My advice to this type of ladies would
be that they go and kidnap male chimpanzees whose beards are as manly as
desired. Generally, my girlfriend loves my beards because she claims that
whenever we kiss, she feels an arousal by the prick of the beards which is kind
of weird. My analysis of ladies who love men with beards however is that, no
beard shaving translates to money saved for picnics, pizzas and weave purchase
and if there shall be no money at all, then we shall get hair from the beard.
Still on the beard
talk, ladies love when they kiss you and they grab something long at least the
beards for those with not so long zig zillas. Okay, lets continue.
Of The Lame Reasons Ladies Give US To Avoid Sex
‘I can hear the
neighbors still chatting.’ Are they chatting in our room ? Come on !
‘I am angry with
you!’ Okay, but you are not angry with my zigzilla. This reason is very lame
The lamest reason
has to be, ‘I am not in the mood’. Very soon we shall start hearing reasons
like, ‘Oh! I am your sister!’ Blah blah blah.
These ladish
behaviours normally confuse ;
a1. Ladies want to eat fries, pizza, chicken, chocolate and macaronni and
still expect to shape up like Rihanna. Come on ladies, there is no way this is
going to happen. (Circle shape looming)
b2. Some ladies want to walk on high heels for the first time and still manage
not to look like a gully creeping kangaroo walking on its hind legs. Come on, i
know there is a first time for everything but at least, practice at home before
you set foot in public for perfection
c3. Some ladies post photos of themselves on instagram , half naked, posing
like an lizard climbing a tree, holding a wall as if the wall is going to fall,
one finger on lips while she bites them, one eye closed, left leg folded
upwards orgasmically and still feel bad when normal men like me call them whores
d4. Ladies who apply the wrong red lipstick, then the sun shines and as the
lipstick peels off, they expect to look like Rihanna yet they look like some
caricature i sketched with my left foot on my sketch book
e5. A girlfriend who refuses being
taken to a Mental school yet she scrolls
my phone book and shouts at me, “I went through your phone book, who the hell
is Mum!”
[
B.O.B A Whoof Deh, Don't Tell The Ladies I Roasted Them, September 2015 ]
