Never Will I Seduce A Girl On Facebook Again

‘Sweetie Cutext Mtamu.’ That’s how she called herself on facebook. I guess this un-binomial nomenclature meant that she was a Sweet , Cute and Tasty a piece of a human being who had just finished high school in the ‘X’ generation of Kenyan toddler high school leavers.

She was cute and if you remove the e from the word CUTE, she would do that to my salary with my full consent if I got any job.

I began inboxing ‘Cutext’ on facebook, sharing and exchanging photos. It was a blissfull experience.As the inboxes kept growing, the urge to see one another live live was too irresistible and we organized a quick meeting maybe for something like a moment so quick.

We agreed to meet within the confines of some unfinished house within our eastate. Now these unfinished houses within KayoleEastate are notoriously know for offering free romping venues for poor estate kids and self proclaimed ‘hustlers’ like yours truly.

At around 5pm I was already at the venue alone. I started calling the number she gave me but it was not entering or if it entered then she removed letter ‘e’ from the word ‘cute’ and applied that annoying three letter word to my phone call.

Suddenly from around the lonely corner of the venue, a mafia/ninja boy popped up with a fierce dog. So this was Cutext’sboyfriend ?He’s the one who had been inboxing me while pretending to be a lady. This was a thug with a Thief Dog. Probably a Mexican Shepherd just like policemen ownGerman Shepherds, this ninja owned a Mexican Shepherd. By the way Mexicans are historically known for stealing cars.

I started running to nowhere as these two counterparts chased me. I beat a corner then unfortunately slipped into a watery ditch a.k.amtaro.

I dragged myself out and slipped inside some tall grass next to the ditch for a hide.

The dog began licking me. The water from the ditch that was on my clothes was tasty I guess and as I began sweating, the dog licked me more because my sweat added salt to this dog’s delicacy.

I jumped up and shouted ‘Devil Resurrecting.’ The dog coiled its tailed and wheeled off as its owner the Mafia Ninja followed shouting, ‘Heeeelp!’

I was so thrilled at the magic only to realize seconds later that this ditch was a place where these mafia ninjas of the citytied, dumped or kepttheirvictims of robbery. Immediately, I saw a man in the grass silent like he was dead. He was probably a victim of robbery with super violence. The man’s legs twitched and he coughed. For a moment I thought he was a ghost. I almost ran away.

This man who was also ‘resurrecting’ from the grass told me to untie him so that we run together. Yes we escaped the thugs den.

[B.O.B A WhoofDeh © January 2015, I Will Forever Hate Blind Social Media Dates]