It was just another good morning filled with all sorts of nonsense cliché sounds of creatures and chilliness that my little brother can put in his composition to lure his standard four English teacher for unnecessary marks.I snoozed the alarm and cursed why the hell I had to set it to cry at 6.00a.m in the morning when dreaming about me being in my birthday party, celebrating and eating like Shiundu who got a feast at last.Shiundu was one of those weird Luhya characters whose stories you read about in primary school of how they were possessed with a demon of over eating capacity and had subscribed to unlimited saliva activation anytime they smelled food cooking.
Ha! Ha! Ha!, this is not Shiundu’s story, this is the story called, the space between a rock and a hard place.So, I just woke up because I needed to prepare for a small journey to Moi University to check if my poor name was on the list of the chosen finalists of the upcoming essay competition in Indonesia.I poured cold water into my purple basin and took my dirty shirt to use it as a towel because some nugu had stolen my towel from the cloth line the previous day it was too early or rather wasteful to buy another towel because real men don’t bathe daily.I strolled to the bathroom, closed the door, tasted the water with my hands and it was just too cold for my little backbone that cold was also eating and I was trembling like the aspen poplar tree due to the cold.I closed my eyes, counted one two three then a poured a handful of water to my back but I bet it was just too cold for a man who bathes once in a week so as the water came back from the air to hit my poor back, I missed it deliberately. I jumped up and down thrice to sweat a bit after which I successfully poured the water on m y poor back and bathed in a supersonic speed. (Did I really have to use the word supersonic like my brother?) All in all, you understand what I mean? Good.I came out of the bathroom rushed towards my one roomed house and just by the door; I saw the space between a rock and a hard place starting to form. My door was empty and there was a huge cobra snake I think as long as three meters and it was resting its black scaly muscles on my dusty door mat. Wooi! My God. With only a boxer on me? And red and blue sandals on my feet ?Unfortunately for me, I saw my girlfriends mother walk near the gate and looking at me and of course I had nowhere to run. She looked at me and said “Hello” and I pretend to smile because she had seen my hard calfs with hairs allover when I was just hopin that she doesn’t figure them out hidden in a trouser near her neat daughter who has smooth legs. That aside, this is not the story of my girlfriend, it’s about the snake.I ran around the bathroom to look for a stick to kill the serpent, but when I came back, I found it gone. Alas! Gone where??????? Hey ! and my door was very much open. I couldn’t do anything until I thought of something cheeky.My neighbor was an animal farmer so I thought of a cheeky idea. I crept into his backyard with my “dirty towel shirt”, took one of his guinea pigs from their pen and put it into the shirt and slowly came home with it.I cut the sisal cloth line and tied it on the guinea pig’s neck then inched closer to the door and pushed the guinea pig into the open door then I waited far from the house just near the fence. I watched in awe for five minutes the I felt the rope shaking as the guinea pig came running out of the house with the cobra really slithering out.I pulled the little creature away into the farmers homestead and untied it and kept it into its house as the snake came towards me. I ran infront of the farmers house and shouted “snake”, then the farmer came out with his rake and the snake became history if not a fossil and I prepared for the journey and with the incident fresh on my mind, it had to be my latest story for the Indonesia creative writing competition.
[B.O.B A Whoof Deh 2013, Composition Writing Teacher]
Ha! Ha! Ha!, this is not Shiundu’s story, this is the story called, the space between a rock and a hard place.So, I just woke up because I needed to prepare for a small journey to Moi University to check if my poor name was on the list of the chosen finalists of the upcoming essay competition in Indonesia.I poured cold water into my purple basin and took my dirty shirt to use it as a towel because some nugu had stolen my towel from the cloth line the previous day it was too early or rather wasteful to buy another towel because real men don’t bathe daily.I strolled to the bathroom, closed the door, tasted the water with my hands and it was just too cold for my little backbone that cold was also eating and I was trembling like the aspen poplar tree due to the cold.I closed my eyes, counted one two three then a poured a handful of water to my back but I bet it was just too cold for a man who bathes once in a week so as the water came back from the air to hit my poor back, I missed it deliberately. I jumped up and down thrice to sweat a bit after which I successfully poured the water on m y poor back and bathed in a supersonic speed. (Did I really have to use the word supersonic like my brother?) All in all, you understand what I mean? Good.I came out of the bathroom rushed towards my one roomed house and just by the door; I saw the space between a rock and a hard place starting to form. My door was empty and there was a huge cobra snake I think as long as three meters and it was resting its black scaly muscles on my dusty door mat. Wooi! My God. With only a boxer on me? And red and blue sandals on my feet ?Unfortunately for me, I saw my girlfriends mother walk near the gate and looking at me and of course I had nowhere to run. She looked at me and said “Hello” and I pretend to smile because she had seen my hard calfs with hairs allover when I was just hopin that she doesn’t figure them out hidden in a trouser near her neat daughter who has smooth legs. That aside, this is not the story of my girlfriend, it’s about the snake.I ran around the bathroom to look for a stick to kill the serpent, but when I came back, I found it gone. Alas! Gone where??????? Hey ! and my door was very much open. I couldn’t do anything until I thought of something cheeky.My neighbor was an animal farmer so I thought of a cheeky idea. I crept into his backyard with my “dirty towel shirt”, took one of his guinea pigs from their pen and put it into the shirt and slowly came home with it.I cut the sisal cloth line and tied it on the guinea pig’s neck then inched closer to the door and pushed the guinea pig into the open door then I waited far from the house just near the fence. I watched in awe for five minutes the I felt the rope shaking as the guinea pig came running out of the house with the cobra really slithering out.I pulled the little creature away into the farmers homestead and untied it and kept it into its house as the snake came towards me. I ran infront of the farmers house and shouted “snake”, then the farmer came out with his rake and the snake became history if not a fossil and I prepared for the journey and with the incident fresh on my mind, it had to be my latest story for the Indonesia creative writing competition.
[B.O.B A Whoof Deh 2013, Composition Writing Teacher]
No comments:
Post a Comment