For My Future Wife a.k.a Future Bed Mate

I hope you are single wherever you are and that you are not a lazy woman. By this, I mean that our house shall not have traces of pampers and aroma of stenching urine of Bob Junior. 

However, I am very lazy. In our house, there shall a "nonsense room". Here, there shall be a sony bravia flat screen 84 inches for FIFA with me and Bob Jr's friends. This room must not be kept neat or swept because my scripting, articles and poems will be here. Therefore, any sweeping may make me lose scripts yet that’s where I get my salary. So even the smallest of useless papers might be a Hollywood material you are sweeping. The only favour you can do me is putting rat medicine to kill rats that might want to eat my Hollywood material

My future wife, I have never had a pair of socks and vest. I hope you buy me a pair using "your" chama money. By the way I know you will gather the chama money from the money I give you to buy supper.

My future wife, your shoe size must be size 40/ number 6 and above because my mother told me that women who wear size 5 and below have the tendancy of giving birth to twins. Giving birth to twins means that "reading the constitution" will be limited and I dont want that.
My future bed mate, if you find socks on the kitchen floor, I must have left them there as a physical reminder of some script I am supposed to complete, so there you risk terminating my contracts which shall pay for your barber shop fees because my wife must never don weaves.

My future wife, you must know mathematics. To me, maths was leprosy so I dont want to marry someone who can’t how many pieces of meat are left in the sufuria.

Finally, my future wife, I hope you smoke WEED . You will be generating me jokes and I perform them. May you therefore have good health and live long as a lioness so that you meet your lion.

[ B.O.B A WhoofDeh © Copyright 2014, SHare It On The Her Wall]